Welcome to my blog,
This semester we've been looking into what makes us us. Now, quite frankly the story of WHO I am is long and tedious.
Growing up, you hear tales of “Women and Men,” “Romeo and Juliet”, but you never hear stories about same-sex couples. Misogyny and homophobia have plagued our country.
I believe that all men ARE created EQUAL: our founding fathers wrote these words with good intention. Whether they meant all men were created equal or not, they started a firestorm for centuries to come. I believe in a fair and equal society, where no matter the color of your skin, your sexual orientation, your religious beliefs, you are welcome. You are loved. You are free. Most of all, you are the future.
For a while, I struggled with how an individual's identity shapes them. In 8th grade, my ELA teacher started a class discussion by posing the question, “What makes you, you?” This is my first year at GCE and I have been reflecting on what has made me me. When I started the 4th grade at Polaris (my middle school), I lost someone of significance to me, my Grandmother. The fact of the matter wasn’t that she was gone, it was the fact that I felt alone. The people in my life tried to ease my pain, but there was no one there like my Grandma. My Grandma was one of those people in my life who supported me no matter what. Starting in 2nd grade, I felt different from my classmates. When I was starting 4th grade, I confided to my Grandma that I liked boys. She told me that she had thought that, but didn’t want to put any pressure on me so didn’t say anything to me. After I told her she said to me, “It's not for others to decide who you are, it’s for you to decide who and what you can truly be.” I felt relieved and grateful that she was so compassionate and understanding.
Not many people can get this help. A lot of religious and POC families have very deep roots stemming from homophobia and misogyny. When a gay man asks for help from say, the police and the police know that this is an openly gay man, sometimes they might feel as if it’s not true. I, for one, know how it feels to feel alone, and feel like no one wants to help you. At my old school and in my community, I never had any gay role models. In fact, being called gay was a way to put someone down. I remember sitting silently when my classmates or family members would say cruel things about my friends, and about people in the LGBT community. I have strived and am trying so hard to show that we need representation too.
That might sound arrogant, but I don’t mean it to be. It is harder to make cruel remarks about someone who has a different sexual orientation than you when you are friends with that person. Now that family and classmates know I am gay, they don’t make mean remarks because they know that would hurt me. I strive to break down the barriers and challenge misconceptions that many people I know have about gay people. There have been strides in our culture for gay people. You see commercials with same-sex couples, and we even had a Presidential candidate who is openly gay. I know that everyone does not agree with being gay, but if we can have more compassion we can find our common interests rather than what divides us, and I believe the world would be a better place. The SCOTUS voted in a 5-4 decision, saying that states were required to start releasing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, as they were protected under the 14th amendment. We live in a society that is divided on so many social issues that it seems nearly impossible that we could end up on the same page. Again, let’s look at same-sex marriage. Proponents say that same-sex couples should have the same relationship rights as heterosexual couples. Opponents claim that allowing gay people to marry goes against traditional values we hold as a country. How do we as a community find common ground on this issue? As someone who is gay of course, I want gay marriage to be legal in all 50 states.
I believe that no matter what, at the end of the day we all should have a choice of who we want to marry. Marriage is a statement of love and commitment in front of witnesses and it is also a civil rights issue. Married people get governmental benefits such as same-sex marriage treatment in taxes, inheritance, insurance, health care, and raising children. I don’t understand why anyone would be against me wanting to marry someone I love and want to build a life with. The Pew Research Center in 2019 found that 61% of Americans support same-sex marriage while 31% oppose it.
What is the reason 31% oppose it? People who oppose same-sex marriage state their religious affiliation is the main reason they oppose it. We are fortunate that the United States separates church and state so the government will not make laws that are in favor of one religion.
Religious beliefs can make it difficult to try to create common ground. History has shown us that major conflicts have started over different religious beliefs and that each side doesn’t want to change their minds on what they believe to be right. I am a Roman Catholic; I have been to churches that support gay marriage and others that don’t. This gives me another question to explore. How can we find common ground on the issues of gay marriage when religious convictions may tell us otherwise? I respect people's religious beliefs and don’t expect everyone to have the same faith as I do but I believe we need to start having conversations with each other about our differences. Religion should be a bridge of cooperation rather than a barrier to what divides us. On the topic of gay marriage, the conversation should begin with how everyone is equal in the United States, and we all should have the same favorable governmental benefits. Navigating different religious beliefs in our diverse country is a very complicated matter. Having connections with others is an integral role in the history of American change
If we all start creating partnerships with each other we can make sure that we listen and respect all sides but maintain pluralism which is the foundation of the United States of America. The change is all around us we aren't those plastic dolls you see on a shelf that people can mold into what they want and we can't do that to others, so we live our lives with this thought that “oh there different let’s judge them” no that's not how this life works this life is meant for a challenge the challenges we go through and differences we go through make us weird. None of us are “weird”, we're just unique and some people do fail to realize it but it doesn't mean we're bad and like “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ― Mahatma Gandhi and this quote stick with me. What I mean by being me is that I'm not something that someone can change me into. This society has these mindsets and tendencies to think that different is bad and like my grandma would say being different isn't bad it’s only one part of one of what makes you whole. It’s what makes you, you... It’s not what makes you different. I feel that it’s the responsibility of us as humans to live through change but when change comes our way we don’t say that's bad we try to invite the change in.
My whole life, I was always told to say ‘yes ma’am, and no ma’am,’ and ‘yes sir and no sir’ and live up to others’ ideas of who I was supposed to be. And I always was letting people down, because I didn’t fit their mold. But through GCE, I found my own voice and learned that I can be who I want to be and not a character in someone else's story. I found that I could be my own self and achieve my own dreams. There are so many defining experiences that made me who I am today. One important moment was when I met my friend Sakkiyah. She made me politically aware and opened my eyes to the reality of how the world really works. She has helped me to become an Explorer and a Critical Thinker by showing the world in a whole new light. I used to just walk through my life blindly, but now I think about the consequences of people's choices. Her influence has also helped me to think more deeply about the choices I make for myself.
I believe the most important part of my passage through middle school (At Polaris) into my transition into high school has been accepting who I really am and becoming more true to myself. My Polaris teachers and mentors have taught me that not everyone in the world will accept me for who I am. In my case, I look different from my peers even though I have African American heritage. I still felt left out and I felt different from everyone. It was hard to fit in. I was made fun of and teased. But as I became more compassionate and an active citizen who cares about making the world better, I realized that people who tease others because they are different feel bad because they feel bad about themselves. My old teachers taught me that everyone in the world is different and that we don’t have to be perfect for anyone. Ms.Thomas, Mr. Golden, and Ms. Hall taught me that I was unique and that my gifts are valuable.
There’s always been the question about the future in my head. I wake up knowing that tomorrow isn't guaranteed, but I know that the choices I make today will determine my future opportunities. I was taught at Polaris that change is ok, even though it can be scary. We’re not all the same. We all come from many different backgrounds and heritages. Polaris has taught me to be my true self and to be happy that no one else is like me. Polaris has given me a boost of self-confidence. I grew to the point of compassion. Once I was able to have true compassion for myself, I was able to show compassion toward others. I can use compassion and integrity to determine the quality of others instead of just judging their books by their covers.
I couldn’t have done any of this without the hard work and constant help from two very important educators in my life, Ms. Navarre (Head of School of Polaris Charter Academy) and Ms. Brailey (HighSchool coordinator at PCA). They never let me give up no matter how many times I tried. When the going got tough, they would say get your work done and don’t give up and they deserve special thanks. Because without them I wouldn't be where I am today. Someone else who helped me realize that I can be who I want to be is the former mayor of South Bend Indiana Pete Buttigieg. He showed me that no matter what, no matter who I am, I can succeed in the game we call life. He taught me so many things from his days on the presidential campaign trail. He once said ‘The world is changing, but it is not changing on its own.”
This quote made me think that if the world is changing I can be a part of that change and I can bring others along with me on that journey. It also made me reflect on my years at Polaris. My change didn’t come from people telling me about it, it didn’t come from people telling me to change, it came from me wanting to make a difference in the world. I wouldn't be who I am without this perfect place. I am overjoyed to call Polaris my home and GCE my new home. And without the opening of its doors, I wouldn't be this amazing brilliant teenager that I am today. So thank you, Ms. Navarre, for opening Polaris so that current and future students can learn to be themselves, and thank you to the founders of GCE. Thank you to all of my teachers and staff who have helped me over the years. And remember ‘the world is changing but it’s not changing on its own.’ We each have to do our unique part to write the next chapter.
I part with saying this. You are the change you want in this world. No matter who tells you otherwise, the world is your diamond. It's up to you, to shape it the way you want it.
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