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T’was the Shakespearian Tea!
By: TES & LG
Old English | Modern English | |
Richard | Wench didst thou hark what befell ‘i Venice? | Girl, did you hear what happened in Venice |
Beatrice | No I didn’t what befell? | No, I didn’t, what happened? |
Richard | So some lady, Desdemona married Othello the Moor. He accused her of cheating then killed her. They were madly 'i love yet the words of a liar got her killed. | So some lady, Desdemona married Othello the Moor. He accused her of cheating THEN killed her. They were madly in love but the words of a liar got her killed. |
Beatrice | That’s most unfortunate, so heavy what a tragedy. What befell to the moor? | That’s very unfortunate, so sad what a tragedy. What happened to the moor ? |
Richard | ‘Tis said from Cassio that the moor killed Desdemona, and then the liar, Iago killed his wife Emilia, and Roderigo. | I heard from Cassio that the moor killed Desdemona, and then the liar killed his wife Emilia, and Roderigo. |
Beatrice | How didst Iago trick Othello into thinking Desdemona was a cheater? | How did Iago trick Othello into thinking Desdemona was a cheater? |
Richard | He lied to Othello, still telling him that she was sleeping with Cassio, and that she was being unfaithful | He lied to Othello, constantly telling him that she was sleeping with Cassio, and that she was being unfaithful. |
Beatrice | That is crazy he is a low-down, dirty dog. | That is crazy he is a low-down, dirty dog. |
Beatrice | What shall Venice doth now that the moor is dead? | What will Venice do now that the moor is dead? |
Richard | I'm not sure. Cassio is going to take his place I receive, yet didst thou hark what also befell 'i Verona? wench the tea that i hast for thou! | I’m not sure Cassio is going to take his place I believe, but did you hear what also happened in Verona? GIRL, the tea that I have for you! |
Beatrice | Say to me, say to me, what’s the tea? | Tell me, tell me, what’s the tea? |
Richard | Juliet met Romeo on Sunday night. Romeo professed his love for her a few hours later. Keep 'i mind he was already 'i love with another wench, Rosaline. | This girl met him, and on the first day right? Romeo of course professed his love for her. KEEP IN MIND HE WAS ALREADY IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER GIRL. |
Beatrice | Are thou sad? what befell after he did so? | Are you serious? What happened after he did? |
Richard | He went and married this wench, Juliet Monday afternoon! Keep 'i mind their families are archenemies | He went and married this girl. KEEP IN MIND THEIR FAMILIES ARE ARCHENEMIES. |
Beatrice | Thou might not but be lying!r | You must be lying! |
Richard | I am telling thou sooth. Then, Juliet's cousin Tybalt kills Mercutio, so Romeo kills Tybalt and gets banished by the prince | I am telling you the truth. Then, Juliet’s cousin Tybalt kills Mercutio, so Romeo kills Tybalt and gets banished by the Prince. |
Beatrice | This is messy! these people are toxic! | This is messy! These people are toxic! |
Richard | It gets worse. Juliet’s parents didst not wot she was married, so they try to force her to marry some sir named Paris. Juliet fakes her perpetual wink to rise of it. Romeo thinks she is very dead. He goes to her tomb. Paris is there and Romeo kills Paris then himself. Juliet wakes up and finds Romeo dead, so she kills herself | It gets worse. Juliet’s parents did not know she was married, so they try to force her to marry some dude named Paris. Juliet fakes her death to get out of it. Romeo thinks she is really dead. He goes to her tomb. Paris is there and Romeo kills Paris then himself. Juliet wakes up and finds Romeo dead, so she kills herself. |
Beatrice | These people want some mental health counseling | These people need some mental health counseling. |
Richard | They want to wot that a healthy relationship hath trust and communication | They need to learn that a healthy relationship has trust and communication. |
Beatrice | These two relationships definitely didst not hast that! I also regard a healthy relationship needs mutual respect. Sounds like Othello didst not respect Desdemona would he was bidding her a “shameless” whore” | These two relationships definitely did not have that! I also think a healthy relationship needs mutual respect. Sounds like Othello did not respect Desdemona if he was calling her a “shameless” whore”. |
Richard | Ay. And Romeo and Juliet didst not very wot each other well enough to get married. Whom marries someone after knowing 'em a couple of hours? that screams crazy! | Yeah. And Romeo and Juliet did not really know each other well enough to get married. Who marries someone after knowing them a couple of hours? That screams CRAZY! |
Beatrice | Oh well! 'tis what it ‘tis. Art we still going to the dance to-morrow night? | Oh well! It is what it is. Are we still going to the dance tomorrow night? |
Richard | Of course! I can’t wait to until there | Of course! I can’t wait to see you there. |
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